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Content warning This visual novel contains coarse language, cursing, scenes of alcohol consumption, and a sex scene of dubious consent which takes place between two adult characters when they are both drunk. The main couple in this story are also first cousins.

Available in English and Українська.

Yuel’s life is a mess.

He’s twenty-eight years old, he works a boring office job, and he’s barely scraping by with his limited finances.

Throw in the fact that his wealthy father disowned him almost a decade ago, then died six months prior, and his life really couldn’t be any worse…

Or could it?

After being invited to his aunt’s wedding, Yuel reconnects with his handsome, easygoing older cousin, Tavi. A string of unfortunate circumstances lead Yuel to sharing a hotel room with Tavi for the wedding, and (more worryingly) the same bed.

With emotions running high and fancy champagne in abundance, what will happen next?

The answer: something Yuel will probably regret.

  • 40k words of text (approx 2-4 hours of reading)
  • A linear story with no choices or branches
  • Detailed character and background art
  • A cute BL story about a couple of cousins
  • Drunken confessions
  • Emotional angst
  • Sex!

Writing & programming: ebi-hime
Sprite/CG art: Cherry
Background art: Resu, RialynKV
UI: Elduator
Music: Mock Off
Ukrainian translation: vrsstk
Translation QC: Lacki23

Note: This VN features characters, Yuel and Tavi, who appear in a few of my other stories: All Ashes and Illusions, All Idleness and Ephemera, and Unluckily in Love. Both Idleness and UIL are BL stories about Yuel and Tavi falling in love in various different circumstances. These stories are all standalone, however, and take place in different universes. You don't need to read all of these stories to understand some greater overarching narrative. If you want to read more about these characters, however, then you can! ♥

Updated 25 days ago
PlatformsWindows, macOS, Linux, Android
Rated 4.3 out of 5 stars
(36 total ratings)
GenreVisual Novel
TagsAdult, Anime, Boys' Love, Erotic, Gay, LGBT, Male protagonist, Romance, Short, Yaoi
Average sessionA few hours
LanguagesEnglish, Ukrainian


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Click download now to get access to the following files:

com.ebihime.tohaveandtohold-release.apk 419 MB
ToHaveAndToHold-1.0-mac.zip 402 MB
ToHaveAndToHold-1.0-pc.zip 436 MB

Development log


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Офігіти. Я маю в це зіграти, раз тут є українська.


I liked the art style a lot and the ost was beautiful, especially the main theme. I really enjoyed the the emotional moments of Yuels and his overall backstory. It felt genuine and relatable. 🙏

thank you you're too kind <3
i'm glad you liked it!!!


I found this while stumbling around for VNs and can I just say for one, the writing was INCREDIBLE! One of the most genuinely human yet angsty relationships I've seen in a game of recent note and this is considering I've played more than a few hundred otomes at this point and reviewed many. By the end of it was I left desperately wanting more and I'm already looking to buy more than a handful of your games!

P.S. God I want more of Yuel/Tavi, I'm definitely buying the other games with them because this story was so beautifully written I was tearing up and wanting these two to actually just be happy together.


Aaa thank you so much for your comment! This is so kind I can't even haha ;;;
I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading about my boys! They're my favourite characters so I'm always happy when more people give them a chance🙏 I'm glad the writing was enjoyable too!

I like writing about Yuel and Tavi A Lot haha so I've written various stories with them in different settings, falling in love under different circumstances... So I hope you enjoy the other AUs as much as you enjoyed this one! Thank you! ❤️




I think the world needs more Yuel/Tavi in general tbh haha ;;
I hope you enjoy the story 🙏

The story is really great, and the little girl who loves to watch orthopedics (blood related love) is ecstatic. But I can't speak English or Spanish well, so I use a translator throughout the whole process, and ask if anyone can translate into Chinese...

I'll add a Chinese translation if somebody offers to translate it, but I'm not going to actively look for a translator myself. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, though!


I dont mean to be rude but what made you make them related? Its such an interesting choice...


It's a bit convoluted, but Yuel and Tavi were originally created for one of my other VNs, All Ashes and Illusions. Yuel is the main character in Ashes and Tavi is just a side character who doesn't have much screentime; the two aren't in a romantic relationship in Ashes and it wasn't something I planned on when I was putting Ashes together.

While I was writing Ashes (and making myself sad because it's a really depressing story) I realised Yuel and Tavi's interactions were a lot of fun to write and they had a lot of chemistry.

Since Ashes was such a miserable story to work on, I wanted to stick my boys in another universe where they could be happy, and Yuel and Tavi wound up being a couple because they have such good synergy... But I kept them as cousins since I'd written them that way in Ashes, and it feels too important to their relationship to change.

If I'd planned for Yuel and Tavi to be a couple I wouldn't have made them cousins. Things just kind of happened this way after I got unexpectedly attached to them...

Oh makes sense, thanks for explaining!


its looks so cute but i cant get past how the fact that theyre cousins.....


Don't push youreslf to read something you're uncomfortable with and just ignore this story. There's plenty of cute BL stories out there where the main characters aren't related.


I'll add a Spanish translation if somebody offers to translate it into Spanish. I don't have any plans to look for a Spanish translator on my own though.


I love the story about taviand yuel are is there a chance that there are coming more stories of them. And maybe an after story or something about there relationship in an year or so and family finding out ot something. This can be for both stories in modern time be used.


Aaa thank you! I'm glad you like my boys! >_<
I did actually write a sequel to To Have and to Hold already, which deals with their relationship a few years later, and what their family thinks about it. I'm hoping to get some art for it commissioned soon, so I can turn that into a VN too!
I was also working on another story about them set in the Ashes universe, but this one is pretty sad...

Well, I love my boys a lot, so I'll keep making stuff about them!




holyyy. its a short story but i found myself enjoying it. and well, i ended up balling along with Yuel in the middle of it. but ive come to appreciate it very much. thanks so much for creating this. much love xx 🌹🌹

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm sorry if it made you cry though aaah ;a;
At least things work out alright in the end! ♡

I played Idleness and UIL on steam but I can't get enough of these boys. I love their interactions. 

Thank you very much! ;a;
I love my boys too, their banter is always a lot of fun to write!


Incredible story! Totally didn't cry or anything haha...


I'm glad you enjoyed it!!!
I'm sorry about making you cry, though! ;a;


I couldn't sleep tonight, so I figured I'd give this a try... and I kind of ended up binge-reading it till 10 am, haha ^^;;;

Damn, the legends were true, Yuel really IS a mess. :D And I like Tavi's more serious and caring side a lot, but it probably works so well precisely because he's a chirpy asshole most of the time. Very lovable boys, both of them.

I've already mentioned liking the art, but I also liked the story progression and pacing in this one a lot. Kudos, ebi, and thank you for sharing all the fluff and all the delicious angst with us. This was a very enjoyable read!

I've been nibbling on Unluckily in Love here and there, but I don't think I'm even halfway through that one yet (I've been in a bit of a reading/gaming slump in general lately, so the spontaneity in this one was a nice surprise). I'm also looking forward to seeing how things develop between the two of them over there. :)


Aaa thank you! I'm glad The Boys are worthy of being binge read aaaa ;a;

Yuel is, indeed, a mess! If he wasn't a mess, I don't think he'd be Yuel anymore...
That's alright, though, because Tavi can cheer him up!
It's also nice having Tavi act more responsible when he's with Yuel: it brings out his wholesome side more...

I trimmed quite a lot of excess words off this one while I was editing, and I tried to make the pace fairly breezy (apart from the emotional confession, maybe, because I have too much fun writing these sorts of scenes haha) I'm glad it paid off!
Tysm for checking the story out Nayru! >_<

Ah, and UIL definitely has a slower pace. It's more SoL focused, and it takes a bit more time for things to get going.
It's probably not too hard to guess how things end up there though hahaha ;;;

Deleted 286 days ago

aaaaa i'm sorry that my boys ruined you ;a; i hope that they were also able to put the pieces back together again tho!!!
and i apologise if the story made you cry!




i hope u enjoy it hehe >w<


WAAAHHH!!! Really!? I'm so happyyy!!! More Yuel and Tavi Love!!! 🥰 Thank you and don't stop make this VN please! ♥️♥️


Yuel and Tavi are my precious babies and I love writing about them haha, it's very fun for me >_<
I'm glad that other people enjoy reading about them too! Thank you so much!!! ♥️


Yeah! I  love them!!


More Yuel and Tavi! I love their banter~!


Aaa thank you very much! I'm glad that you like them!!! ;a;


Omg, omg!!!!!!!! Another one with these two boys! <3


yes the boys!!!
i have an incurable brain disease and i can't stop writing about them; it's too much fun to mess around with them.......


Well I'm forever grateful for that!